Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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