You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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