Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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