Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
That was an excessively violent trivia night
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
