Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
