I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
