Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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