remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
