Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
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