In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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