You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just found a bag of teeth...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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