Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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