Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
