So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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