Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
