bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
