i just wanna soil my oats bro
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
