wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
