so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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