Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
