I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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