I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
MIDGETS
????
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
