I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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