hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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