We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
