I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
