my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He kissed a someone with a penis
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
