i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
