Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
