and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Screwed.edu
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
