I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
