So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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