But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
