doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
