saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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