plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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