i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
So squirting runs in the family.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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