Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
