It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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