rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
