I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Randomize
