I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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