I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
