I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Randomize
