i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
