8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
