I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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