I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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