So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
