Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Randomize
